Alright. I’m feeling whiny, so most of this post is gonna be me being a little bitch. Feel free to ignore it. I’ll get the normal update out of the way first.

I’m writing my Shakespeare essay on “Suicide as a form of Triumph”, focusing on Anthony and Cleopatra, Macbeth, and Hamlet. I figure there’s enough suicide in those plays that it shouldn’t be much of a problem. I just hate doing the prospectus because it’s most of the work of doing an essay, except you end up having to do it again when you write the actual one. Oh well.

I haven’t seen Robbie online for a while now, and I’m not sure why. It’s unusual for him to be offline for so long. I’m sure he’s just busy, but all the same, I miss him. So hopefully all is going well on his end.

I decided that come summer, when I actually have money for it, I want to get a tattoo on my back. I want the red face design on Shiranui from Okami, except I’ll shorten/taper the top line because it’s way too long in that picture, and the eye designs I’ll probably move up to better go with the shape of my back, since there’s not gonna be any actual face there, anyway. Nerdy, I know, but I think it’s damn pretty, so shut yer face.

I’ve been on a Savage Garden kick ever since Dawn showed me that video of the British men in a pub singing “I Knew I Loved You” and I decided to listen to the original. I’d forgotten how much I like them. Shame they broke up, though I should download some of Darren Hayes’ (the singer) music, and see if it’s similar. I haven’t heard any of his solo work, I don’t think.

Mitch decided to drunk dial me about 30 minutes ago, and suffice to say I’m not pleased. Partly because I remember hearing he was moving and I figured he’d be out of my hair, partly because he somehow managed to hit a nerve pretty hard, so now I’m in a rather pissy mood and managed to clench my fist so tightly I cut my palm a little with my fingernails. Oh, so melodramatic. You’d think after 5 years he wouldn’t get to me anymore, but alas.

Okay, now is whining time. I guess before was a bit of whining time, too, but it’s not what I initially was referring to. So go ahead and ignore the rest of this if you’d like, it’s not really of any importance other than for catharsis.

I have managed to, once again, get a pretty major crush on someone I really shouldn’t have one on, for a number of reasons that I won’t go into right now. Suffice to say, this is not the first time it’s happened, both overall and with him in particular. As this seems to be a bit of a trend with me, one would think I would be able to just stop it by now, but that’s apparently just silly. Anyway, I’ve been in a state of mixed action between trying to pursue it in spite of everything and hope for the best, and trying to just leave it alone until it goes away again. Problems are: there is a possibility it could work, if things went the right way. But if I keep trying, things could take a downturn and things might just end up awkward, possibly permanently, and I’d rather not have that. If I had to choose, I’d rather keep my mouth shut and keep things the same and just deal with it. But at the same time, that border has already been somewhat crossed, and things are fine now. So therein lies part of my indecision. There is a rather large obstacle that may be in the way and certainly does complicate things further, so I’m not quite sure how to deal with that. Fuccckkk I’m stupid. I kinda wish I’d just have learned when this happened last year. But I guess at the same time, maybe my not learning will work out. We’ll see.