Alright. I’m feeling whiny, so most of this post is gonna be me being a little bitch. Feel free to ignore it. I’ll get the normal update out of the way first.

I’m writing my Shakespeare essay on “Suicide as a form of Triumph”, focusing on Anthony and Cleopatra, Macbeth, and Hamlet. I figure there’s enough suicide in those plays that it shouldn’t be much of a problem. I just hate doing the prospectus because it’s most of the work of doing an essay, except you end up having to do it again when you write the actual one. Oh well.

I haven’t seen Robbie online for a while now, and I’m not sure why. It’s unusual for him to be offline for so long. I’m sure he’s just busy, but all the same, I miss him. So hopefully all is going well on his end.

I decided that come summer, when I actually have money for it, I want to get a tattoo on my back. I want the red face design on Shiranui from Okami, except I’ll shorten/taper the top line because it’s way too long in that picture, and the eye designs I’ll probably move up to better go with the shape of my back, since there’s not gonna be any actual face there, anyway. Nerdy, I know, but I think it’s damn pretty, so shut yer face.

I’ve been on a Savage Garden kick ever since Dawn showed me that video of the British men in a pub singing “I Knew I Loved You” and I decided to listen to the original. I’d forgotten how much I like them. Shame they broke up, though I should download some of Darren Hayes’ (the singer) music, and see if it’s similar. I haven’t heard any of his solo work, I don’t think.

Mitch decided to drunk dial me about 30 minutes ago, and suffice to say I’m not pleased. Partly because I remember hearing he was moving and I figured he’d be out of my hair, partly because he somehow managed to hit a nerve pretty hard, so now I’m in a rather pissy mood and managed to clench my fist so tightly I cut my palm a little with my fingernails. Oh, so melodramatic. You’d think after 5 years he wouldn’t get to me anymore, but alas.

Okay, now is whining time. I guess before was a bit of whining time, too, but it’s not what I initially was referring to. So go ahead and ignore the rest of this if you’d like, it’s not really of any importance other than for catharsis.

I have managed to, once again, get a pretty major crush on someone I really shouldn’t have one on, for a number of reasons that I won’t go into right now. Suffice to say, this is not the first time it’s happened, both overall and with him in particular. As this seems to be a bit of a trend with me, one would think I would be able to just stop it by now, but that’s apparently just silly. Anyway, I’ve been in a state of mixed action between trying to pursue it in spite of everything and hope for the best, and trying to just leave it alone until it goes away again. Problems are: there is a possibility it could work, if things went the right way. But if I keep trying, things could take a downturn and things might just end up awkward, possibly permanently, and I’d rather not have that. If I had to choose, I’d rather keep my mouth shut and keep things the same and just deal with it. But at the same time, that border has already been somewhat crossed, and things are fine now. So therein lies part of my indecision. There is a rather large obstacle that may be in the way and certainly does complicate things further, so I’m not quite sure how to deal with that. Fuccckkk I’m stupid. I kinda wish I’d just have learned when this happened last year. But I guess at the same time, maybe my not learning will work out. We’ll see.

Well, I’m officially back from my trip to Edmonton. It was pretty good, Kel and I had a lot of fun. We went to my Aunt Sylvia’s the first day, then spent the next couple days at my Aunt Sheri’s. As planned, we went to Galaxy Land the first day, which was only okay. Half of the good rides were either shut down for maintenance or gone altogether and in the process of being replaced, so we didn’t get to go on as many as we would of liked. As a result we spent a lot of time just wandering WEM, which was okay. Plenty of exercise and talking time, if nothing else. The next day we went to the Waterpark, which was pretty fun. We spent a lot of time on the slides and in the wave pool and so on, and that took up most of the day, and we went out to dinner afterwards, which was nice. Third day was spent shopping on White Avenue, and though we didn’t end up buying anything at the end of the  day, it was a fun trip. Went with my Aunt and Grandma. Afterwards, we went out to dinner with my Aunt Sylvia and Uncle Tim so we could see them one more time before we headed home.

We had to fly back here at 7 AM mountain time (6 AM local time), which meant we’d need to be up at 5 AM to get to the airport and through security and everything else on time. So as a result, we decided to just stay up all night and save the trouble of trying to wake up and get ready that early in the morning. We came home, then headed over to Kel’s afterwards to play White Knight Chronicals for a while, and spent some time with his family. He told Amber we didn’t get in until around dinner time so he could have some time to just relax at home for a bit before going to see her. We ended up finally falling asleep for around 2 hours, then I woke up and came home for dinner and to see my family some more. And now I’m here.

Something else came up on the trip that’s probably going to play with my mood for the next little while, so forewarning to any of you if I seem a bit off. If I want to tell you about it, I probably already have, so you’ll know what it is. Otherwise, it’s not really public knowledge material, so I’m going to be keeping it to myself.

I’m in a mixed state about being home. On one hand, it’s nice to be back in my own room and to just be going back to life as normal, though on the other hand, it means back to school and work and whatnot. Also, I’ve gotten pretty used to sleeping with Kel, since we generally shared a bed to keep warm because the basements were chilly, and so I got pretty accustomed to the constant company and whatnot. As a result, I feel kinda lonely in my room now, which is odd since normally I’m happy to have some time to myself. Now, I want company. Oh well, it’ll pass by itself in a day or two, probably.

Anyway, yes, there’s my update. There’s been a lot of interesting developments back here in Kelownaland lately, too, it seems. Some things I can’t talk about because I’m not technically supposed to even know. And Danny apparently has gotten all popular and attractive lately. Oh, that kid, gettin’ all the boys to like him. It’ll be entertaining to see how that all turns out, if nothing else.

Well, it’s officially one day left until Kel and I head off to Edmonton for the rest of break. So exciteddddddd! Only definite plans so far are the waterpark, Galaxyland, and I think it’s now called Ed’s Rec Room (an arcade), as well as dinner with my Auntie Sheri and the rest, and probably a night drinking. And we might go to a strip club just to spite Amber, but I doubt that. I don’t really wanna spend money on that.

Drama between those two has been heating up (again) and it seems Kel may finally be at his breaking point, so to speak. He’s said he doesn’t think they’ll still be together after he and I get home, and that he’ll just give her Valentine’s Day, at least. Not sure if that’s still how he feels or if it was just a sorta heat-of-the-moment feeling (or heat-of-the-day, as it was) and he’ll just forget about it, or if he’ll actually do it, but we shall see. I kinda hope he does, just because she’s a nice enough girl alone, but she’s way too goddamn clingy and it even annoys me, and I’m not even the one dating her. It’s like Natalie all over again, only less know-it-all.

I have a feeling if he does dump her, she’s somehow going to figure I have something to do with that decision, based on timing if nothing else. Which I wouldn’t really care about if I didn’t need to work with her. >_< Could be awkward times ahead, my friends. Awkward times ahead.

Anyway, tomorrow he’s just spending the night for sake of ease of morning travel, and so we’re probably gonna have a videogame/movie night of some sort. Which is pretty much every time we get together, but whatever. A minor detail. And speaking of movies, I just downloaded and watched the first Land Before Time movie, and it is still fucking awesome. It was so sad when Littlefoot’s mommy died! ;_;

I’ve also been on a stand-up comedy binge lately, for some strange reason, so I’ve been watching Margaret Cho and Billy Connolly via Youtube, and been having a good chuckle in the process. Those two are pretty much amazing. They need to do more stuff, purely for my own enjoyment, of course.

Uh, what else…? I guess I got and defeated a cold over the course of three or four days. It didn’t even really phase me, just gave me a runny and slightly congested nose for a couple days. Back to normal now, just in time. I credit hugging my teddy while I sleep. <3

Well, it’s been almost two weeks, and not a lot has happened, but I figure I’ll update anyway. We went to Chris’ new place (Chi-Fu Chris, not FINA or Vancouver Chris) for a gathering thing, which was pretty fun, though it involved some battle wounds and violent card games. I like his place. We should go there more often.

I’ve recently started playing Eternal Sonata again. God damn I forgot how pretty that game is, and how much I like Chopin’s music. <3 I’m going to need to cut back soon, though, since I want to try to get some of the work I need finished for after reading break done THIS week, so I can enjoy my trip to Edmonton more.

On that note, the confirmed dates are the 17th – 21st. $460 later, I’ve bought the plane tickets and we’ll be heading out there for good times. Galaxy Land and the Waterpark and the arcade and whatever else we can think of await! Soooooo excited.

Kel and I have both started working out more regularly again (i.e. pretty much daily, as opposed to every week and a half or so like we slipped to) and it’s pretty nice. I’d forgotten how much I enjoy it, in spite of how much work it is, and I can already see minor improvements overall, which is encouraging. Depending on the exercise and the muscles, I can use anywhere from 15 lbs to 45 lbs, which is more than I could before. (Before, it was more like 10 lbs to 30 lbs.) Biggest issue (or, weakest muscle, in other words) is my triceps, because I’ve had twiggy arms for a long time as it is, and that muscle especially got rare use. So it leads to rather annoying problems like not being able to do more push-ups because my arms can’t do any more, even though my chest could probably still do almost double what I’ve already done. Oh well, something to work on. It’ll even out in time.

And my mommy surprised me with new shoes today, so I don’t have to spend the money myself. :3

Hm… oh, and Alex finally got on Accutane, after having to try a whole bunch of other stuff he didn’t want to bother with. Not that that matters to any of you, but I’m pretty happy for him. His acne has been as bad as mine was, and I went on the same medicine and it worked very well for my. Now I rarely have more than one or MAYBE two pimples, if that, unless I’m really stressed and so on. It’s gonna be good once his treatment is finished.

And that’s all she wrote. I’m off to bed now, probably gonna be playing a nocturne over and over in my head. Wheeee.