Well, Kelvin is going to be going to Cranbrook for at least a month in hopes of finding a new job, which sucks balls. Well, not his getting a new job, if he does, but him leaving. I’m gonna miss him. D= If he can’t find anything, he’ll be coming back here and then we’ll see. Which means that the only close male friend I’ll have in the area will be Danny, basically. There’s gonna be a significant lack of guy time in the future, methinks.

Speaking of guy time, there’s soooorta a little plan forming to get Jimmy away from his overprotective family for a little while, get him drunk for the first time, and have a good time in general. So far, assuming everything goes through, it’ll be him, me, Charles, Danny, Chris Cannon, and maybe Steven. And, if Kelvin is back from Cranbrook, him as well. And I dunno if there’ll be others. I think it’ll be hilarious to see Jimmy, though, since he’s a pretty good time normally. Somehow I think he’ll be adorable like he is usually. Something about that baby seal face of his.

My War and Aggression class for tomorrow was cancelled, which means I get to sleep innnn, hell yes! Sleep in tomorrow, and then Friday, we’re going shopping after school, because Dawn, Sarika, and I need new pants, and after said pants shopping, we’re going to Dawn’s to hang out and such. Kelvin might come as well, if he’s no longer sick, what with his leaving soon and all. Hopefully he can.

After not having spoken for a while, Connor 2 got filled in with events from the past three months or so. I didn’t realize how long it’d been since we’d last talked. He was sorry to hear about stuff with Robbie, though said we’ll probably end up together again. I thought about it, and I realized that even if he did want to get back together, I wouldn’t. Now, I’d say no. Not that that’s likely to happen, anyway, but all the same. I’ve had some thoughts now that we’re separated, and noticed things I couldn’t when we were together.

Um… I don’t really have anything else to update with at the moment, I don’t think. I managed to accidentally say I’d help plan gay pride 2010? So I got myself out of that one, because I really just don’t care. Oh, and not that anyone cares, but I’m gonna be doing my Endangered Languages paper on Ainu, for lack of creativity. So if anyone can think of something better, that’d be lovely?

Alright, so, I went and got a domain and can make it purdier and so on, so woo! Just figured I’d say that, and use this post as a test to make sure everything is working right, because it was being a bitch for a little while and I wanna be sure this all goes as planned. In theory, all is good. I’ll delete my old blog at some point, probably, after I give enough notice linking to this one.

So, I might hop on the bandwagon soon and buy myself a domain for my blog so I can host it and have funky layouts and everything, and I figure I’ll use it more regularly if I’m paying to do so. I just need to decide on a domain name (which I kinda have) and a hosting service. But I have to work soon, so that’ll have to wait. Though I just remembered Jimmy works tonight, which makes it about 600x more awesome because… well, he’s Jimmy. He just makes things awesome. It’s how it works.

Also, I downloaded a PDF version of a normally VERY expensive (almost $100) Japanese grammar book, which makes me unreasonably excited, which in turn makes me very geeky. But I don’t care. I’m learning conjugations and sentence structures I didn’t even know about! Which means when I listen to some songs in Japanese, I actually understand them better and can get meanings and stuff that we don’t really have in English.

Ummm, what else… I’m pretty much fine about the whole thing with Robbie. Sure, a little sad, but we ended on fairly good terms overall, so I think we’ll do fine as friends. I haven’t gotten all blubbery or anything this time, so I figure that’s a plus. All in all I’m feelin’ pretty good.

Ah, yes, I’m also making sorta plans to go drinking with Charles at school sometime in between classes, since we’ve said we would for about two years and haven’t actually done it yet. The joys of having a pub on campus. I’m gonna try to get it to be on Tuesday, since then if we go before a class, it’ll be before my psychology class, which is a first year course and as such is pretty much spelled out for me and won’t be hard to deal with if I’m tipsy. I won’t get drunk, of course, because that’d just be stupid to do there. And I don’t really want to get drunk, either, so there ya go.

I’m also planning to buy a new laptop sometime soon. A plus to Robbie and I splitting up is that I can use that money I was saving for my trip to see him in the summer to buy a new computer I desperately need. This one is just… it has problems. Before, Robbie came before that because obviously boyfriend>new computer. But if we’re gonna be just friends, then I love ya and all, but I need a new computer. Haha. I’d still like to visit sometime for hanging out and such, but if it’s not an effort to keep the relationship going, it kinda has to take a backseat to this expense. And it’s a lot of money that, again, if not for relationship stuff, is better spent after I’m done school and can more easily afford it, rather than it being a quarter of my entire yearly income.

Finally, I need to go shopping for some new clothes that I can wear when it gets colder, since I don’t feel like wearing hoodies every single day. And I don’t have a nice long-sleeve button up shirt that fits anymore, so I want to get one, and I need some more pants that aren’t denim, as the ones I have now are only my work pants. I need a pair of khakis or something. And something in a lighter colour. I’m kinda curious if I’m one of the few men who can pull of white pants, too, so I might try some on and see how it looks. If it works, then there we go. I kinda know an outfit I could wear to go with them. That and I just need more shirts in general, since working out has had at least some effect and now some of my other t-shirts I used to wear don’t fit well anymore. They end up really tight.

Anyway, time to go shower and head to work, so until I write again.

Well, it wasn’t just stress making me mis-interpret things. Robbie really had drifted away, but had been hesitating to say anything to me for the past little while because I seemed depressed. Which, ironically, was because I felt like he was drifting away and I hated not knowing for sure. But oh well. We’ve split up yet again, though on less messy circumstances this time. I’m not even going to bother saying for the last time and so on, because I’ve said that twice before and both times I was wrong, so I have no idea what’s gonna happen. We’re not going to talk to each other for a few days just to let things kinda run their course.

All in all, I think I’m okay. I’ll probably let out some emotions later, just to get them out, but otherwise I’m sure I’ll live. He said he kinda wishes I’d hate him a little bit, which I can understand since it makes it easier on him if I’m angry at him, but I don’t and I’m not. I know you can’t control how you feel, and I’m not going to blame him for that. And I was prepared for this when I took the risk of trying again, so it’s fine. I guess the only real PROBLEM I have, aside from the obvious still wanting to be with him, is that he acted like everything was fine today, after not doing so for a while. That, I think, hurt more than anything else because it kinda gave me false hope when he said he loved me again after not for a while, and acted like he used to again. So I just told him not to do that in the future, because it makes it significantly worse.

I guess it’s both a good thing and a regret that I never fully told him how I feel. I mean, I’ve told him I love him and stuff, which is true, but there was more to it than that that I never really said. Which now is a good thing, since I think that would have just made it harder on me and made him feel more guilty, which I wouldn’t want. I guess I’ll probably never tell him now, anyway, so I may as well try to forget it.

Anyway, figured I’d just update on the state of things and assure everyone that, while I’m sad and probably will be for a little while, I should be fine so no need to worry.

Good god I’m a mess lately. I think it’s just the stress of school at the beginning, since this is a new year and it’s a big jump in difficulty compared to first and second years, and work has been really busy lately, and I think it’s kinda been affecting my relationship with Robbie because he’s obviously got stuff to do, which I understand completely, but mixing in a shitty weekend (my car, problems with a certain person, Cait got dumped, anniversary of my friend’s dying, etc.) just made me kinda get clingy and I think see things that aren’t there and take meaning from meaningless things.  I talked to him a bit about it, and he said he thinks we’re still fine, so that’s good. I’m gonna try to stop acting so strange.

Just as proof stuff is getting to me, in the middle of class today, for no apparent reason and without even thinking about anything in particular, I ALMOST started crying. Which is just plain weird because I almost never cry in the first place. So I’m hoping things will just sort out and all will be well.

Well. For the past couple days, I’ve been a bit depressed, and since a few people have asked me what’s up, it’s obviously not as unnoticable as I thought. Chances are, I don’t really want to talk about it, so if I seem like I’m acting a bit odd then just go with it and don’t ask why. I can fix it myself, assuming it doesn’t just go away in the next couple days of its own accord. It’s nothing big, so don’t worry about it.

Also, and you know who you are, I didn’t just disappear. I blocked you and I don’t want to talk to you right now, so stop emailing me. I know you read my blog and that you’ll read this. I’ll talk to you when I feel like doing so again. Until such time, go away. You were an idiot.

Thank you and goodbye for now.

[7:50 PM]

And the wind storm blew a tree over, which the main part landed between my car and the boat and a few branches smashed my windshield and dented my hood. Lovely.

Alright, first off, the title is just because I had a dream where giant cyclobutane aliens came and attacked the earth. For those of you not chemically inclined, cyclobutane is pretty much just a square. So imagine giant, laser-wielding squares coming out of spaceships and you’ll have a general idea of what happened.

I’m getting more healthy now, though I still have a BIT of congestion and phlegm. But it’s mostly gone, so in another day or two I should be back at 100%. Right now, at least, I don’t feel my sinuses vibrating when I talk, so hopefully I’m not so nasal anymore. And I look less tired! =D Fuck you, Mother Nature. Suck my dick.

My psychology prof is pretty much hilarious and easily my favourite teacher. He makes tons of bad jokes, but they’re wonderful. For example, while we were talking about a survey on sexual habits, he said, “When it comes to sex, I hold my own. NO, NOT LIKE THAT!” And there was a whole thing where he made fun of a girl while pretending to hit on her to show how men are, apparently, essentially jealous scum who all look for younger women. (On that note, apparently Robbie and I get jealous because we’re afraid the other is going to have a baby that might not be ours. Who knew?)

I officially win awesome points because, after class yesterday, I built a pillow fort in the livingroom. I’m gonna upload pictures of it to Facebook. T’was a hoot, and I went in there and watched TV and read my book for Holocaust. Bwahaha.

Well. School is going pretty well so far, even though it’s only been 3 days of actual classes. Most of the classes and teachers seem pretty good, though a few parts are gonna be a lot of work, but I’ll survive. I’m excited for Tuesdays, since I’m done at 12:30. And none of them are totally anti-computer, so I get to take my notes on there, and better yet, I get to talk to Robbie! I was worried there’d be even less time now that we’re both in school, but looks like we’ll be fine.

Also, I’m sick. Hurrrrrr. I blame Tyler, that bastard. I’ve had it for two days now and I haven’t been getting worse than a runny nose and some sneezing, and a bit of overall weakness. So I’m hoping that if I keep drinking tea and resting and get enough sleep, I can have it fought off without getting worse. We’ll see, we’ll see. Though it’s rather annoying how even little things seem like they take a lot of effort. I can do stuff like walking and so on with no problem, but going up stairs, opening heavy doors, and things like that feel hard to do. I want to cuddle and just feel better. XD /clingyemo

Though, talking to Robbie right in the morning seems to help. Starting the day off in a good mood probably has a good effect overall. I’ll be doing it again once to get to school tomorrow, so yay.

Now I want more tea and honey. So relaxing and seems to help me stop sneezing, somehow.

Well, I went and paid my tuition and for textbooks yesterday, which cost almost $3000 altogether. Stupid English books. And even stupider psychology textbook. WHY THE HELL DID IT HAVE TO COST $130. Oh well, now I’ve got them, and all is well. Class starts in about a week, which is gonna kinda suck, but hopefully I’ll at least have some interesting classes. I have my two anthropologies with Dawn and I think Nathalie, and may have Shakespeare with Charles. My Holocaust lit course will be with Dawn and Sarika, so basically it’s just my psychology course where I might know no one. I think I can deal with that.

Robbie started school today, and from what he told me it sounds like it’ll be interesting. There was a guy with no fingers except a thumb? o.O Knowing him, he’s gonna get hurt somehow. So I think I should make him promise me it’ll at least only be small flesh wounds and minor burns. I think I’ll be a little upset if he loses a hand or has his head burst into flames.

One weekend left. ;_; I need to think of something to do to celebrate my last days of freedom. But I don’t know what.

For some reason today, I decided to count and see how many videogames I have. So far, for PSP, DS, PS1, PS2, and PS3, I have 41. I’m not sure what I have for older systems. At least 3 more games (old Pokemon games), and probably quite a few more. And soon that’ll go up even more because I preordered Assassin’s Creed 2 when I bought Dissidia, so come November I’ll be playing that and shirking off my homework as much as I can, which I know I’ll end up regretting.